29 Years?!

If you’ve read any gossip rags lately, I am sure you’ve seen the headlines announcing Tim Gunn’s nearly 3-decade-long celibacy.  Gunn’s voluntary dry-spell, I’m sure, had a lot of people questioning their own need for sexual intimacy.  One thing I’ve learned from talking to patients over the years is that when it comes to sex, there is no normal.  Some couples do the deed once a month and feel perfectly satisfied.  Others hit the sheets every day and couldn’t imagine it any other way. 

The point is that the frequency with which you have sex isn’t a problem… unless it’s a problem!  A problem, by definition, has to cause distress.  If your sex schedule isn’t stressing you (or your partner) out, then it’s not an issue.  Because Tim Gunn consciously chose to be celibate for 29 years–and didn’t miss the physical intimacy–his abstinence, while probably not common, is not a problem. 

 Whether you regularly romp or enjoy sporatic sex, as long as it’s working for you and your partner, don’t waste your time comparing and worrying and just enjoy it when it does happen.